Ramblings of a TCK
estimated reading time: 5 minutesHello everyone, I am Aru, and I have no idea where I’m from.
To give you guys some background, I’m Bangladeshi, born in a small city in Japan called Kagoshima, lived there for five years, after which I moved to Singapore, lived there for another 5 years, then moved to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia where I lived for about 8 years, then moved back to Kagoshima, Japan where I stayed for a couple months to get ready for university, and finally here I am in Tokyo, Japan where I’ve lived for a little over 3 years.
The question “where are you from?” is the most dreadful question I find myself having to answer everytime I meet a new person. At 21, I’ve come to learn that it’s not always worth going through the trouble of going through my entire background history every single time I speak to a new person, so nowadays I just give the most appropriate answer I can. Speaking to a Bangladeshi person I just tell them I’m a foreign born Bangladeshi in the most foreign accented Bengali as possible, and they usually understand. Speaking to a Japanese person I just tell them I’m from Kagoshima after which they’re usually extremely confused at how a brown man like myself could possibly be born in Japan and speak such fluent Japanese, their reactions are priceless and I still don’t get tired of it. When I speak to a Southeast Asian person, regardless of whether they’re Singaporean or Malaysian, I just tell them I’m from Singapore or Malaysia in Singlish.
The best part is that I have no trouble fitting in to any of these cultures so people generally just accept me as one of them and it’s fine afterwards, but that’s not how it goes for a lot of other Third Culture Kids out there.
You might be reading this because you’re a third culture kid yourself, and if that’s the case, hello! You’re not alone. But if you’re not, chances are you have no idea what a third culture kid is. I like to explain third culture kids as “the byproduct of globalisation.” In the 21st century, it’s so easy to move out of your home country. In fact, according to a UN report from 2015, 3.3% of the world live in a country “foreign” to them. That’s over 240 million people. This includes families, and these families are going to have children in these foreign countries, and of course, these children would move with these families to countries they are not native to, and will find themselves having to integrate in this new society.
These children end up growing up with the notion that they are foreigners in the society they grew up in, but also end up being foreigners to their native country.
I’m one of these people. Sure I can tell people I’m born in Japan, but I’m not Japanese. And that sucks, because this is the place I find myself most familiar with. I don’t find myself comfortable telling people I’m Bangladeshi, not because I’m not proud of it, but rather because I have no idea what life is like there. I’m so disconnected from Bangladeshi society, that I just can’t see myself as Bangladeshi. Unlike the US or Canada, Japan is not jus soli. I’m lucky to be able to call this place home, but unfortunately many foreigners that grew up here do not have the privilege to call this place home no matter how integrated they are into society.
Now, Japan isn’t the only country like this. A majority of the eastern world is jus sanguinis, which gives birth to a lot of children questioning their cultural identity.
From what I’ve seen, most third culture kids come to terms with who they are as a person, and turn their upbringing into a positive, which is exactly what I’ve done. In our globalising society, cross-cultural people like us are extremely useful in business. Thanks to me being able to speak four languages on top of being integrated into Japanese society, I’ve found myself finding it extremely easy to create new connections in my field and generally get what I want in regards to new work or academics related opportunities, despite most foreigners even if they can speak formidable Japanese finding it very hard to do so.
The reason I’m writing this is to shed light to our existence to the people that are unaware of third culture kids, while at the same time be supportive to those of you that are third culture kids and are going through that phase where you’re conflicted over your cultural identity. Trust me, I’ve been there. There was a time when I was so confused over my cultural identity that I’m pretty sure I was borderlining depression, but the moment I realised that we are nothing but a result of economics, and that in reality we are at the forefront of our current globalised society, I turned it into a positive and have been living life like a breeze ever since. Of course there are people that just won’t understand, but you don’t need that toxicity in your life. Good people will accept you for who you are, and smart people, will give you opportunities fit for a global leader like yourself.
If you’re struggling with your cultural identity, I obviously can’t tell you to just stop struggling, but I can tell you that you will come to terms with it, and you will learn to abuse your situation.
And if you have someone near you that is struggling with their cultural identity, just be supportive of them and treat them not by their upbringing, but for who they are.
I hope this helps shed some light as to who we are, and I hope many more people come forward and share their experiences to show the world that we are many.
Thank you for reading this to the end.
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